I'm home this weekend spending time with family and being forever grateful for all they've done for me. You see, it happened five years ago on the 28th. Five years ago this weekend was the most dreadful time of my life.
Never have I felt more unworthy or unclean. It wasn't just my rapist who made me feel this way. It was the nurses in the ER who wouldn't look me in the eye and the police officers who asked if I made it up so my family wouldn't find out I was "sleeping with a black guy".
Are you serious? I couldn't believe it.
Rape happens far too often. Every 2 minutes another American is sexually assaulted. Still, somehow it has remained taboo, difficult to talk about.
I hear people use the word "rape" in a joking way almost every single day. I've been told that I shouldn't expect people to understand because it hasn't happened to them or someone they know.
I've never asked anyone to understand.
What I'm asking is for people to educate themselves, for girls to be cautious and aware of their surroundings, and to not assume it won't happen to you. There is a difference between being paranoid and being prepared.
I won't live my life in fear because of what happened. I will do my part in educating people and helping those who have unfortunately been through it as well.
There has been recent news of a group of college males that have created a nail polish that changes colors when it comes into contact with any type of date rape drug. The problem with this is the focus remains on the victims. When will society stop focusing on what victims can do, or could have done, to prevent an assault?
There is still not enough attention placed on educating males, and even females, on consent and teaching how not to rape and abuse others. The responsibility still lies in the hands of the victims. Were you too drunk? Were you dressed immodestly? Did you not fight them off? These questions and more are what rape victims have to answer.
Even Mary Jane Mowat, a former judge, claimed rape statistics would not improve until women “stop getting so drunk”. This mindset is so absurd and is the main problem with society and the judicial system when it comes to rape cases. It is the same reason so many rapes go unreported. The shame you feel is indescribable and even more so when no one believes you.
To the victims, please know it's not your fault. No matter what anyone says. To everyone else, I guarantee there is someone in your life you have came across, whether it be a close friend or someone you passed on the street, who has been raped or sexually assaulted in some way. Educate yourselves and do your part in helping reduce and maybe one day eliminate the violence. It's time to take a stand.
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