i'm flying home in 5 hours
i haven't slept yet
probably won't
it's a strange feeling
one i can't really explain
i'm excited, but indifferent
this place that i'm going
what should be "home"
is now just a place with
memories
ones i'm not sure i want to relive
people i'm not sure i want to be part of my life
i had a great childhood
for the most part
then you grow up
people change
friendships fade
now home is a place that makes me
hurt
hurt for the friends who have chosen to stay behind
wasting their lives
their potential
on meaningless temporary gratifications
which do nothing but ruin their chances
do people not see what's out there?
a giant world
endless opportunities
how people are content with staying
in one place
forever
i'll never understand
life is about experiencing great things
an amazing world was created for us
don't remain stagnant
see it
enjoy it
please
10 hours
I'll be on a plane heading home. I'm looking forward to seeing my mom, sister, and best friend Sasha who are all picking me up from the airport. That is...if I'm not snowed in at the Salt Lake airport. It's been snowing like mad all day long. Beautiful snow, but hopefully not an inconvenience. Let's hope I'll land at 6:00 tomorrow evening as planned. I can't wait to see my family and friends. The first Christmas Eve in a few years that I'll be with them. Please enjoy this song and have an amazing Christmas.
2:13
i've had this wave of emotion come over me the past few days. i'm ready to go home, but i'm also secretly afraid i'll want to stay there. i love utah. my wonderful friends. everything. something seems missing, though. it's not exactly how i imagined it, but i'm not sure fayetteville is what i want. i'm really not sure i'll ever figure out what i'm looking for, or if it's even out there.
Wasted money or a good time?
My friend Celsiee brought something to my attention today as I was going on and on about how I've wasted money and time while in college, and yet haven't gotten too far with my actual degree.
She said, "Have you had fun, though?"..."what will matter more when you're older, that you finished school on time, or that you had fun while doing it?"
I'm glad I have her to help me justify being 22 with no real idea what I'm doing in life.
I'm having fun. Who says I have to be a grown up yet?
She said, "Have you had fun, though?"..."what will matter more when you're older, that you finished school on time, or that you had fun while doing it?"
I'm glad I have her to help me justify being 22 with no real idea what I'm doing in life.
I'm having fun. Who says I have to be a grown up yet?
Life goes on...and on
It's funny how what you always thought would happen...didn't.
You didn't finish college when you thought you would.
That relationship you thought would last forever ended.
Your best friends came and went.
It's worthless to dwell on the past.
It only wastes the present.
I've recently discovered that I can only give so much.
That relationships can't be one-sided.
And as you're standing still, wondering what happened...
The world moves on.
Everything around you keeps going.
Things are constantly changing.
Never stopping.
Never giving you a chance to figure out where all the time went.
It's became very clear to me that as long as I do all I can...
Even if I come short of my goal...
It's ok.
service
i realized today how good it feels to help someone have a better day.
a friend was feeling down about some recent happenings, and to make her feel better ashton and i went to DI (the best thrift store ever) and bought her some gifts to cheer her up. tons of random, useless items, but it made all the difference.
she laughed.
a lot.
it was wonderful and made me feel great.
i am so blessed with such amazing friends out here who lift me up day by day
to do the same for them in return is something that i am going to work at more
the end
a friend was feeling down about some recent happenings, and to make her feel better ashton and i went to DI (the best thrift store ever) and bought her some gifts to cheer her up. tons of random, useless items, but it made all the difference.
she laughed.
a lot.
it was wonderful and made me feel great.
i am so blessed with such amazing friends out here who lift me up day by day
to do the same for them in return is something that i am going to work at more
the end
it seems surreal...
...the flights are booked
on the 23rd i'll be heading back to arkansas.
just for a short visit
but a much needed one
i didn't think i would be going back so soon
but it doesn't seem like i've been gone 4 months
ages it feels like
it's a good feeling
it'll be the first christmas eve in awhile that i'll be with my family
so many people i want to see
i'll be heading to fayetteville for new year's
glorious
all my friends will be playing a spectacular show at george's
which is most splendid
i've needed it
longed to be at a show
there isn't any good music around here
not like back home, at least
not to be melodramatic
but life will be complete
again
i need a quick fix of my roots
and i'll get it soon enough
on the 23rd i'll be heading back to arkansas.
just for a short visit
but a much needed one
i didn't think i would be going back so soon
but it doesn't seem like i've been gone 4 months
ages it feels like
it's a good feeling
it'll be the first christmas eve in awhile that i'll be with my family
so many people i want to see
i'll be heading to fayetteville for new year's
glorious
all my friends will be playing a spectacular show at george's
which is most splendid
i've needed it
longed to be at a show
there isn't any good music around here
not like back home, at least
not to be melodramatic
but life will be complete
again
i need a quick fix of my roots
and i'll get it soon enough
word of the month
par·ox·ysm
NOUN:
- A sudden outburst of emotion or action: a paroxysm of laughter.
-
- A sudden attack, recurrence, or intensification of a disease.
- A spasm or fit; a convulsion.
boo?
so i am not a fan of halloween. i'm not sure why. i've just never been one to dress up and get so excited about it. this halloween was a bit different, though. my friends made me dress up. i went as simple as possible. i reckon it was fun. enjoy the pictures.
My beat up boy scout, Kevin.
The picture says it all.
Jabbawockeez!!!
Josh and I attempting to carve the pumpkin
friday.
i stare at the stars
hoping that just once
i'll burn out before they do
i steal bad jokes like a kid in a toy store
i go day to day wondering what will come of this nonsense
we need a new president
but does anyone really know
how to run this country
this world
we're living in a constant war zone
but it doesn't surprise me
it just blows my mind
that i've got a friend there
enough about bull....
let's talk about things that really matter
is britney getting her kids back?
did they seriously make another 90210?
is NKOTB really on tour?
exactly.
hoping that just once
i'll burn out before they do
i steal bad jokes like a kid in a toy store
i go day to day wondering what will come of this nonsense
we need a new president
but does anyone really know
how to run this country
this world
we're living in a constant war zone
but it doesn't surprise me
it just blows my mind
that i've got a friend there
enough about bull....
let's talk about things that really matter
is britney getting her kids back?
did they seriously make another 90210?
is NKOTB really on tour?
exactly.
early in the a.m.
it's been a minute since i've written anything, so here goes...i've finished my first week or work, and needless to say it was pretty intense. being at work at 6:45 in the morning isn't my cup of tea, that's for sure...my girls are amazing, though. they make me laugh all day even though i may get a weeee bit irritated at times, it's good for me...learning patience...which those who know me know that i don't have any. you can't get irritated with these kids, and if you do, you sure as heck can't show it. they pick up on your every look and tone, and they will let you know if it affects them. other than work i've just been hanging out with my friends. nothing too special lately. enjoy and be well
today is friday...
...and i am about to go to my 5th day of training. for those who don't know i got a job as a unit counselor at the heritage schools which is a residential psychiatric treatment center for adolescents. the training has been pretty intense, and it's made me realize how much i want to stick with psychology. i'm taking a break from school, but we'll see what happens. being around these kids makes you notice how small your problems are. they are there involuntarily and have had so many struggles in their lives, but they can still have fun and smile. i am working on a unit of 9 girls ages 14-17 and i absolutely love them. i enjoy going to work and being around them. we'll be going over their case studies today to see where they've been in life to help us better understand and help. it will be a huge eye opener, and i'm actually a little nervous. i can't wait to better myself and make a difference in their lives at the same time. it'll be a wonderful experience.
oh what a...month
I have been in Utah for nearly a month now. I absolutely love it. It is gorgeous. The mountains, the people, the lack of humidity...splendid!
2 weeks after getting to Utah I went with my friend to California...
This was at Newport Beach...so much fun.
Jessi and I have fun pretending we're models...
We saw Wicked...which is an amazing musical!!!
Had to get this picture before we left : )
The gang getting some food after seeing Wicked
This is my wonderful friend, Jessi, who I went to California with.
...And these kids...well, they're somethin else. We all went camping and had an amazing time. I suggest s'mores with Reese's cups instead of Hershey bars. We went up to the natural hot springs in Spanish Fork. I'm not too fond of the smell of sulphur, but all in all it was great!
That's pretty much it so far...but certainly more to come.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)