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I often think about how much I took my childhood for granted. Growing up in the South is a blessing not everyone gets to experience. Southern thunderstorms and summers at the river are what I long for. I hope I get the chance to move back one day, and to show my future family what it's like. I miss simpler times where I wasn't in such a rush. I remember when all I had to do was worry about which pool I was going to during the summer and how late I could stay out before mom got mad. I had some of the best friends a girl could ask for, and although we haven't kept in touch all that much, I still think about them almost every day. There's nothin' better than the South and it took me leaving to realize that.

these girls

I'm not sure I can explain in a few sentences how much this girl means to me. We've known each other since we were just babies, and here we are 25 years later. We became friends like most toddlers do ... one hitting the other and the other biting back. We've seen each other's darkest days and we've both made it out alive, healthier and happier. Many people reading this probably won't know all this girl has been through, but I do, and to see her now, this happy, puts the warmest feeling in my heart. This little girl has saved her and she doesn't even know it. One day I hope she comes to know and understand all the trials her momma has been through for her to be here. I look forward to watching this baby grow, even if it's from across the country. I also look forward to seeing her momma grow and become the person she probably thought she'd never be a year ago.

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some days it hits you all over again...and all you can do is breathe and push through. one day at a time.

Christmas in the South

Yesterday I bought tickets for Chris and I to go to Arkansas for Christmas. I don't think I've been this happy in awhile. There's nothin' like a southern holiday and I'm so glad Chris finally gets to experience one. This will probably be the craziest Christmas, though, considering we'll be flying from Salt Lake to Little Rock...for a week...then from Little Rock to Carmel, CA for about 5 days. Doesn't sound too relaxing, but it will be the best Christmas in about 3 years. I'm so excited to see all of my family! I saw some of them at the beginning and end of the summer, but it was a very short visit each time. Also, my best friend, Sasha, is having a baby in a few days and I can't wait to meet Harper when I go home! I am looking forward to all the goodness Arkansas has to offer, and to seeing old friends and family. Just a couple months!

water babies

I've recently been very interested in water birthing.
I had a friend do this a few weeks ago and she had the best experience.
 I like being as prepared as possible for anything, so I've been doing a lot of research.
A few weeks ago I watched a film called
The Business of Being Born
 which gave insight into different options available.
I'm in no way getting ready to have a baby, but I do like being informed.
I love the idea of a calm setting, without the chaos of a hospital room.
I'm not sure if I would do this at home, but there are birthing centers in and out of hospitals.
I remember being in the room when my sister was born. I was 9 and have been scarred ever since.
It wasn't until I watched the film that my nerves started calming in regards to
pregnancy, labor and delivery.

When talking to a friend (a nurse) about this I was telling her that
I don't think it could be worse than when I had kidney stones.
As I was watching the film I was laughing a little at how much the women in labor looked like me when I was passing my kidney stone.
She asked if they gave me drugs, and after naming off the cocktail of medicine they put through my iv she calmly said,
"it's a good thing you want to do natural birth because if those meds didn't work,
then an epidural isn't going to do anything on you."

We'll see what happens...someday.

 

 

scarves and s'mores

This is my most favorite time of year, not because of Halloween,

but because I really, really love scarves.

Sadly, this won't last too long before the snow comes in freezing us to death.

Until then, I'm excited about the beginning of yummy treats, campfires, s'mores and good friends.

I'm also excited because this season has marked the return of my favorite tv shows.

Dexter, Gossip Girl, The Vampire Diaries and Pretty Little Liars.

(Looking at that list it would seem as though Dexter is definitely out of place, but it also holds a dear place in my heart.)

I hope during this season you all are spending time with friends and family enjoying haunted houses, hay rides, corn mazes and candy.

That's all.